votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
