Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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