dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
