the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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