Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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