she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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