she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
