lets start a swedish sibling band together
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
