If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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