my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize