just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
