Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize