jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
