I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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