yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
