don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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