dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
either way he was missing a nipple.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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