Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
