What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize