i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
