You're my little dorito
Apparently you make a good broom.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
