You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
