do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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