so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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