like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
