Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
