Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
