is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
