I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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