they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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