As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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