Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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