a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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