Cold hands, warm shart.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I had to cum in my sink.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
