I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
