do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
