we're blogging at a bar
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
