The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
