You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
