and you said cock pushups were impossible
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
