He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Acid is not a monday night drug
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
