Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
