LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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