Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
