I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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