There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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