i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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