Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
