right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
