I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
