Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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