margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
