so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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