he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
