so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
