she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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