But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
