Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
