I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
