You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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